Have you ever wondered?

Does it seem sometime, that you may wonder, about where the pea came from floating in your soup? Or where the stitching on your shirt wove?

Long ago a lone man sat on a lone mountain in a lively valley.  He wondered; how could such a stew could exist.  The beasts below, the giants, lived off blood and eyes other creatures. Every day the giants held a slaughter of anything to cross the valley and boiled the blood in massive cauldrons fueled by massive pines; however giants they may be, were frightened at the mass of the mountains.  The god Carnus
loved the sparagmos that stained his bloody plain, but Vegia, goddess of the earth was at irk with the giants and the vulgarness displayed everyday.  Knowing the world and its creatures well she went to the lone mountain in the middle of the valley to seek a hero. Killius Biggus sat alone naked pondering many things when he felt a small tap on his head.  He looked down and there was a small green ball.  At first, frightened, he kept his distance until a voice spoke through the green ball, "Come", it said softly.  The balled rolled around the mountain and he followed it to a small cave that it crept into.  To his amazement and delight, Vegia stood in the middle of the cave wearing a bright red gown.  Killius fell to his knees and sent prayers to her.  She lifted him, opened his hand and dropped the small green ball into his hand.
"Take this to the bloody cauldrons on the darkest night and drop it in without an eye on you".  Still in awe he was speechless and merely shivered a nod.
The next day the giants had a roaring party filled with wine blubber and blood that lasted to the late night.
Killius acted quickly for the giants had raged into the night and finally slumbered deep, but there was little time before the sun god would pull his fire high.  Killius scaled the mountain and lurked to the stew still warm and bubbling he plopped the green ball in and returned to his mountain home.
The next day, that Killius had slept through much of, the giants lay dead having eaten the stew in their own blood scattered in the fields; and in time the blood soaked the earth and gave birth to the pea pod and out of the giants' hair came the lamb.  Now able to prosper, Killius could eat and cloth himself with his golden fields and wooly sheep.

Then Vegia sent him a super hot wife and a sweet house and some other hot women to work around the place and do stuff for him that he didnt want to do. then she sent him a really nice sports car and more women.  And if you ever wondered why women dont like doing things for you its because they are evil forms of Carnus whose mother was named Sassasaurus.


-Tanman